The Fam*

Almost one month ago, I moved in with my Vietnamese host-family. Soon after, I started asking myself, how on earth did I get so lucky?? I think I can probably thank MCC’s extensive selection process for that, but I still just end up feeling ridiculously fortunate about getting to live with this ridiculously fabulous family!


My family includes my mom, Lien who I call Me (mother in Vietnamese), my dad, Minh who I call Ba (father), my 22-year-old sister, Phuong, and my 14-year-old brother, Son. Additionally, almost all of Me and Ba’s siblings and their families live on the same street we do, so there is always extended family in and out of the house. All together, it’s a really close family, and I feel so privileged to be invited into that in a small way.

The family owns a small electronic appliance store, which takes up most of the first floor of the house. The set up is something like this: you walk in to the shop from the street, then if you continue back into the house, you enter the kitchen. So we’ll be sitting around the kitchen table eating a meal and someone will give a call from the shop, so Ba or Me will get up and go help them. Between the shop and the kitchen is a spiral stair case that core-samples its all the way up to the fifth floor.


So for quick virtual walking tour of the house: if you start the trek upstairs, you will first reach the second floor, which includes computer room (with internet), bathroom and living room… continuing to the third floor, you will find Phuong's and my room, my parents’ and Son’s room and another bathroom… then on the fourth floor is the family alter room and a storage room, plus a washing machine on the landing… and finally (all out of breath by now) the fifth floor is mostly open flat roof (with a tin roof over that), dived by an indoor landing – clothes lines for laundry on one side and a big open space on the other, which happens to be perfect for yoga. So there’s the house. Certainly different than what I’m used to but quite comfortable overall… not that me being comfortable is always the most important thing in this experience… but I’m not complaining too much.

To illustrate the feel of family life, I will try to narrate a typical evening around the house. I arrive home around 5pm, hot and frazzled after a 30 minute bike ride from work in rush hour traffic. Ba waves and says, “Chao, Rosie!” as he comes out to lock up my bike and waves me inside. Me comes to meet me as I walk into the house, asks me if I’m hot and tired, which I confirm, and maybe says some other things I do not fully understand but try to respond to in a reasonable way. Below is be in my full biking gear. And yes, I am also considering robbing a bank if MCC does not increase my PDA pretty soon!


I go upstairs to change clothes and say hi to Son as I pass by the computer room where he is probably playing World of War Craft. I then return downstairs to help Me and usually Phoung cook dinner. The process always involves preparing several dishes, made up of vegetables and meat sometimes mixed together and sometimes not. Plus rice, or course. In any case, almost always delicious. In the kitchen, I specialize in pointing at food and saying its name repeatedly, as well as chopping vegetables and frying tofu. Following one incident in which there was some lively music playing on the TV and I did a little dance while standing over the tofu, there is now always some “dau phu (doe foo) danzing!” involved when tofu is on the menu.

We usually sit down to eat around 6:30. Phuong graciously translates some parts of the conversation so that her parents and I can communicate in slightly more complex ways than what my Vietnamese skills usually permit. At other times, I just enjoy my food silently and revel in the occasional word or phrase I catch as it flies by. I really feel like an infant a lot of the time – not comprehending much but (hopefully) absorbing all the time. And sometimes, I appreciate not being expected to participate in conversation and tune out all together. The meal is always followed by fresh fruit, which is almost always pealed and eaten in interesting ways that incline its consumers to remain seated and eat slowly and savor the delicate flavor and the good company of other fruit-eaters around the table. Below is me stylishly sporting the peal of a "qua buoi" (pomelo in English - similar to a grapefruit) much to Me Lien's amusment.


Phuong and/or I wash the dishes… which also happens to include dancing on my part, this time “Rua bat (zu-ah bot) danzing!” (dish-washing dancing). The young people then tend to filter off, Phuong to go out with her boyfriend, Son to study or play on the computer or go school (I have not been able to figure the public school schedule yet… it seems to be happening all the time!), me to read or do homework or email. Sometimes around 9:00, Me, Son and I, plus Co (aunt) Tuyet and cousins Hai (16) and Be (13) will go for an evening walk, which is always enjoyable. See them below. I conclude most days with yoga on the roof, which I feel really thankful for. Me will sometimes come up to join in for a bit and to make sure I’m not falling off the balcony.


So there you have it, yet another long and rambling blog post! I hope this answers many of the questions that I have (understandably) been receiving. Thanks you to everyone who has been emailing and (even better!) writing me letters. I really appreciate it. Xin chao (good bye and hello) for now!


*Thank you to my dear friend Rachel Yoder for her creative abbreviating effect on my vocabulary, e.g., the “fam,” of course, stands for the nuclear family unit. I think of you every time I say it.